I was in the back of an Uber the other day, mid-email frenzy, when the driver decided it was story time.
“So, where are you from? Busy day? What do you do? Bad traffic today, eh?”
Every sentence was a new potential conversation hook, and I was nodding politely as my thumbs furiously tapped on my screen.
By the time I got out, I felt relieved, but guilty, as I probably came across as a little rude.
It got me thinking – is it actually wrong not to want to talk to your Uber driver?
Or was he overstepping by missing my cues that I would have preferred silence?
Etiquette coach Kate Heussler says it’s not automatically rude to shut down chitchat, but how you do it matters.
“A friendly hello, a smile and a quick check-in is enough,” she tells news.com.au. “After that, it’s perfectly acceptable to ride quietly, especially if you’re tired, overstimulated or simply not in the mood. Silence isn’t rude, ignoring someone is”.
Heussler warns against the opposite trap too – filling the air with ‘constant and persistent word salad’ just because you feel obligated. “You don’t have to talk for the sake of talking,” she notes.
So, if you don’t want to talk (or you’re busy), what’s the best way to navigate that situation?
Well, Heussler says the sweet spot is to be warm, clear and brief, then give a gentle cue you’re unavailable.
For example:
“Hi! How are you? Just a heads-up, I’ve got a few things to finish on my phone, but thank you.”
“Hello! Long day, I’m going to take a quiet ride if that’s okay.”
“Hey! I’m on a work call/email sprint, so I’ll be a bit heads-down for this trip.”
“I’m going to pop my headphones in, thanks so much.”
You can also set your intentions in the Uber app as you book – talking, airconditioning, preferences, radio channel, etc. – so you can make those selections beforehand to avoid any discomfort on either side.
That said, Heussler points out that a quick chat with your driver can humanise the ride.
“It’s a nice moment in an otherwise rushed day,” she says.
“A little chat can make the ride feel safer, friendlier and more relaxed – and for drivers who spend hours alone in the car, being treated with warmth (not like a robot behind a steering wheel) can genuinely lift their day.”
You might also get local tips, shortcuts, or a good laugh, which is never a bad thing.
It’s an issue that’s been much discussed in online forums before, with some Reddit threads passionately debating the topic.
In one thread on r/AskAnAustralian, people shared the ways they tried to opt out of conversations.
“I’ll say ‘long day’ three times and they’re still asking about my weekend,” one rider said.
But one driver replied, “We’re not taxis, we’re people too – being nice costs nothing”.
Read the full article here