After years of struggle with substance abuse, self-worth and public scrutiny, Frankie Grande is unabashedly soaking in a time of joy. “I’m so happy right now, and it’s so rooted in gratitude,” says the Tony-nominated star of and co-producer of Broadway’s Titanique, who recently celebrated nine years of sobriety.
But don’t mistake his elation for an era of complacency about things he’s passionate about. Core issues—ranging from busting stigma around addiction and recovery, supporting the totality of the gay community, cultivating inner peace and normalizing backstage conversations about mental wellbeing—that propelled him to pen his new memoir Supergay.
With a global superstar half-sibling who shares the same surname, Grande acknowledges both his place of privilege, and the work he’s put in to get to a place where he can use his platform to shape culture. “I’m a known name and I’ve also worked hard for this,” he says. “So I don’t want to hold back. This book is almost too-much-information honest, but I hope it will start other people talking about this sh*t and help some people.”
With a global superstar half-sibling who shares the same surname, Grande acknowledges both his place of privilege, and the work he’s put in to get to a place where he can use his platform to shape culture. “I’m a known name and I’ve also worked hard for this,” he says. “So I don’t want to hold back. This book is almost too-much-information honest, but I hope it will start other people talking about this sh*t and help some people.”
His recent participation in the annual Broadway Cares gala was just one of numerous full-circle moments Grande is savoring of late. “Eleven years ago when I did it, I was so high. I was crippled with anxiety and locked in the dressing room the whole time. And this time I just was so present and able to give of myself and meet everybody and be a star. I still struggle with receiving sometimes and feel like haven’t I earned this yet, like ‘is this really happening to me?’ but I think I’m more able to receive and even more able to give.”
Grande vividly recalls when he started using drugs at age 24 and how quickly the habit took root to poison all parts of his life for a decade.
Nursing a recent breakup at sea during a gig performing on one of Rosie O’Donnell’s R Family cruises, he was offered his first bump of cocaine. “I was so miserable and so broken, and that bump fixed everything in my life magically in that moment,” he recalls. “It was the greatest feeling I’d ever had. All of the noise in my brain went away and I felt so empowered and was immediately like, ‘Whatever that is I want to feel that way for the rest of my life.’ I immediately became addicted.”
Addicted, though strategic. Grande mostly steered clear of using while he was working on stage or at other engagements, but his mind was always on cocaine. “The whole time I was waiting for the gig to end, whether it was Broadway, hosting a red carpet, it was all about, ‘It’s in my bag sitting on the counter… Is it time, is it time?’”
Initial attempts to take control led to an ever-expanding cocktail of prescription drugs. “No one was treating the root cause, which was my drug addiction, so I just got addicted to more drugs in order to survive the cocaine addiction,” he says. “Klonopin for mood, sleeping pills, muscle relaxers, painkillers. I was a pharmacy, a biological experiment. And you’re going along with it because you’re like, OK, there’s the promise of help here, right? But it was just this never-ending snake eating its own tail kind of destruction.”
Mind Reading (formerly Hollywood & Mind) is a recurring column that features interviews with musicians, actors, athletes, creators and other culture influencers who are elevating conversation and action around mental health, and breaking stigma.
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